You Are Not Alone- My ADHD Struggles and Finding Community By Mikki Flaherty

Updated: Apr 7

Today's #talkaboutit Tuesday is a day late, and that's so freaking appropriate 🤣 I wanted to take a minute to talk about mental health. It's a topic near and dear to my heart, and I try to talk as openly about it as possible. I was struggling with parenting. Like realllllly having trouble staying focused on my kids, keeping up with cooking, cleaning laundry, shopping etc. I use alot of self-deprecating humor and joke about what a crappy housewife I am, but underneath that I am having a really hard time functioning as an adult. I have always had those struggles, but throwing in 2 babies under 2 really brought it out in the open and I was no longer doing ok "just getting by". A few years ago, I decided to get help. I started treatment for my chronic depression, but I was also diagnosed with ADHD. I can't tell you what a relief if was to find an answer for why I struggle so much with the things that are normal, daily tasks for so many others. I have since gotten on medication, been treating my depression as well, and have gotten to a pretty good place. But it's a lonely place and I still struggle, and there's a level of shame that goes along with that. Those closest to me don't struggle with the things I do, and it's embarrassing and discouraging to be living in my world that is so different from theirs. I don't feel like there is a lot of understanding when it comes to ADHD, especially in women. And that keeps me from talking about it much with my family and friends. Part of me feels like it would come across as me just making excuses for how I am, and I don't want that. But it is a big deal, and it is a huge part of me, and effects every single thing I do and how I do it. Yet, I keep it mostly to myself and get through it and try not to bother anyone with my problems. Then something amazing happened! A friend mentioned she joined a group on Facebook for Moms with ADHD. I don't know why I never thought of searching out a group like that myself, so I found some groups and joined. The first day I started seeing posts in that group, I cried. A few times. Thinking about it now gets me choked up too. I had finally found a place with other people just like me. Struggling beyond just the typical motherhood overload. Struggling, and yet thriving too. There are some really great things about having ADHD too, if you look hard enough. Reading these posts from other women that I could 100% relate too has been such life changing thing. I feel understood, I feel like I'm not some lazy, immature, irresponsible flake that can't get her shit together. There are other people like me, and there are reasons for why I am the way I am. It's been so empowering and I have gained a sense of self that I have seriously been lacking. If you are struggling in any way, whether you're suffering from mental illness, or you're neuro-typical but dealing with loneliness or feeling isolated (hello 2020), I urge you to go out there and find some people like you! The internet has made it so easy to connect with people, and even if you aren't ready to interact, reading about people with the same interests as you can be so uplifting. I hope this place is like that for you Boss Ladies out there. Working women or small business owners or Mothers. We're here for you and want to support you in any way we can, whether that's with business tips, parenting advice, or sharing our hot messes to make you feel better about yourself. You are doing amazing, you are wonderful, you are enough. We will be here to remind you when you need it. Xo, Mikki

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